sometimes I get surges of courage and then make bold decisions to which I instantly regret and spend the next hour hiding under my blanket in fear

oops. that wasn’t what I was expecting.

should I make an OKcupid.

I don’t think I’d even be able to handle being with anyone else right now. but everyone is telling me I need to try in order to move on.

but I don’t want to talk to boys they all suck.

arcanities:

commandereverdeen:

WHAT’S UP INTERNET

If you’re a gamer, you probably noticed all the new stuff being announces at the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3) in Los Angeles. I’m super excited, especially about all the announcements from Sony and Nintendo.

Lots of people are excited for different consoles and their respective games, LIKE THE 3DS. So here’s your chance to win one! The winner will receive a red 3DS XL system (like new, used only a few times) with its original box, charger, manuals, and AR cards. Plus, the two latest killer apps for the 3DS, Fire Emblem: Awakening and Animal Crossing: New Leaf!

Rules:

  1. Sadly, the 3DS is region-locked, so I am only shipping to the United States.
  2. Reblogs count, Likes do not. Only one reblog will count per person.
  3. If you make a fake/empty/giveaway/side blog to reblog, you will be disqualified.
  4. I will need the winner’s address for shipping purposes, so you have to be comfortable with sharing this information.

The giveaway will end on Friday, June 21st and the winner will be announced on that day! Good luck!

(via wildwaterkingdom)

I was laying in bed relaxing and then got sad because I was like ‘ugh I shouldn’t be doing this I have so much homework” and then realized I turned in my last essay two nights ago and I’m on summer break AWWWWYEAHHHHHHHHHHH

on my main blog I have a stat counter which can show you how many people view your page (and their city/IP address). and I checked mine today and whoever sent me that rude message lives in the city and is probably one of my friends and that makes me really uncomfortable because they should be the ones to know best that the resurgence of my depression isn’t just over some dumb boy but from much bigger issues

U G H.

tonight my mom said that when I called her to say I got the job at anthro was the first time in over two months I’ve actually sounded happy.

oh.

omg I literally should not be allowed to have a phone I NEVER MAKE GOOD DECISIONS EVEN WHEN SOBER AHHHHHHHHHH

I know this sounds really dumb but I have this friend who I love dearly except she keeps copying me and wow I’m suddenly back in middle school but come on

I have to force myself to eat. consciously keep chewing instead of just spitting the food out. I have to fight against myself to swallow.

there are alarms set on my phone,
‘eat, it’s 10pm.’

it’s a miracle if it stays down.

it’s not that I don’t want to. I don’t know what’s going on. ugh.

the worst thing is that I don’t even hate you. and I should. I have every reason to. but no, instead I can’t stop fucking thinking about you. wishing you would change your mind and suddenly realize maybe you wanted me instead. and I hate that. I don’t want to be this foolish and have these hopes. because they won’t happen.

they won’t happen. they won’t happen. it’s over.
I just have to keep repeating that to myself.

#sigh  

how to make bad decisions:

step one: take multiple shots of whiskey
step two: pick up your phone.

that’s it. that’s all you need to do. it will never end well.

SOMEONE LIKE YOU JUST CAME ON MY PLAYLIST I WASN’T PREPARED FOR THIS

the worst thing about all this is I really need help but I don’t feel like I have anyone I can call and reply on to actually come/want to help.

OMG WHY WHY DO I DO THESE THINGS CASSIDY I HATE YOU SO MUCH WHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF